Thursday, 12 June 2014

Awkward Exits

Awkward Exits




Kshhh Kshhhhhh I'm breaking up, Hello? Hello?! Life is full of awkward conversations; No matter who you are or how many people you try to avoid you will eventually end up having one. For those of you who don't know the tricks of the trade in getting away from these is that my phone calling conversations, here's some common ones...


1. Say absolutely nothing for a really long time and ignore everything they say.. they will eventually go away.




2. Pretend you have a really important phone call and must go to that person's rescue immediately... alone




3. Randomly say Goodbye and hope they leave
 



4. Start doing the full bladder dance and head off to the toilet for a really, really long time




5. Pretend to suddenly be ill and stress the importance of going home to bed immediately




6. Know the tell tale signs and run away and hide before they talk to you




7. Forget how to talk English... Je ne comprende English, No spreka ze Englais

 



8. Start talking about something really really boring or offputting... the weather's bad again... i really want to lick your face




9. Put some headphones on and pretend they're not talking




10. Tell it as it is... Stop talking about your life!



 

Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Things Welsh People Do When it's Sunny...

Things Welsh people do when it's Sunny...

 


Well it's supposidly summer and surprise surprise we're welcomed with rain. But not to worry us Welsh will make the most of our occasional sunny days I'm sure. We'll see the re-emergence of skirts and shorts, the constant song of ice cream vans and those all familiar pink tans. We take the weather as it comes here in Wales, but when we do get the occasional good weather, every year we flock to the same places, do the same things and, inevitably, make the same mistakes. After-sun at the ready!

 
1. Whatever the Weather you'll read about it in the paper!
 

2. You'll see people immediately taking clothes off to Tom Jones music.



3. You immediately gather friends, family, people on the streets... anyone who will go to the beach with you!

 
4. And eventually you end up at Barry hunting for a spot...
 
 
 
5. Or you are clever enough to hit a local park
 
 
 
6. In failure to travel you'll see people parking up on any empty space or pavement
 


7. You look weird if you're not holding at least three ice creams!
 
 

8. Everyone will wear sunglasses day and night, whether it starts to rain or not.

 
 
9. Water fights inclusive of both pistols and bombs are a must!!
 
 

10. The Welsh use oil to get a good tan.

 
 
11. And end up going pink. 
 
 
12. Before peeling and turning white again.
 
 
13. Disposable BBQ's are a must!
 
 
 
14. More than two days of heat is too much!
 
 
15. And we're back to complaining about the sun... until it rains again!
 

Thursday, 29 May 2014

The Exam Monsters

 
The Exam Monsters...
 
 
The 10 People you Encounter during Exam Time
Created for Just Eat
You encounter many people during exam time and it’s easy to let others personalities influence and distract you from exams/revision. Here are some tips on how to avoid any potential distractions and deal with those varied personalities...

 
1. The Worrier
This person may need several showers during the exam period. The worriers are usually people you will find in puddles of sweat, be nail biting often and will almost always have an urge to erratically tap their feet on the floor. Some even have the occasional tear jerking break downs.
Hiding Place: Corners, usually located in a quiet room.
How to Conquer: Carry some tissues and Chocolate. Chewing gum will also distract from the tapping.
 

 
2. The Chiller
This person is never fazed by an exam that could end up deciding their future. Usually these are people who are either incredibly intelligent or just believe too much in destiny to worry.
Hiding Place: Relaxed areas, usually located in a bar or on the sofa.
How to Conquer: Ignorance is bliss.

 
 
 
 
3. The SuperHuman
This person will be found extremely chirpy and rearing to go. They will seem excited at the prospect of an exam and will appear to have no fear whatsoever! They will usually be the ones asking for extra exam paper up until the last ten minutes of the test.
Hiding Place: Camped out waiting for the start of the exam
How to Conquer: Feed on the positive energy!
 

 
 




4. The Show Off
This person will seem to know absolutely everything about anything and they have no problem telling you all about it. They ramble on non-stop about everything they’ve deemed to have learned.
Hiding Place: Group areas
How to Conquer: Locate to a silent area.
 
 
 


 
 
5. The Rule Breaker
Has this person even read the examination regulations? This person can be found attempting an array of cheats before and during the exam and will stop at nothing to try and get away with it.
Hiding Place: Dark Alleys
How to Conquer: Everyone hates a tattle tale butttt...
 




6. The Fake
This person will consistently tell you that they’ve done no revision and that there is an almost 100% probability that they will fail, but will come out with amazing results!
Hiding Place: At home hitting the books
How to Conquer: Wear some headphones and focus on one ’s self.
 



 
7. The Hopeless
This person will have done no revision and will seem to have accepted their re-sits fate. They will often be found sleeping or trying to convince others to join them in social activities.
Hiding Place: The Pub/in Bed
How to Conquer: Match them up with a sibling/friend who likes to party and has no exams.
 





 



 
8. The Ghost
You’ve never seen this person in your class... ever! But you’ll see them about in the library every now and again and they will randomly turn up to the exam. Never been to class but will still usually breeze through.
Hiding Place: Unknown
How to Conquer: Accept it and call ghost busters just in case.
  
 





 
9. The Forgetful
This person will always be asking around for a pen, a pencil, a ruler, the day, when your exam is, for a copy of your notes. They seem to have selective amnesia and will forget everything that requires carrying something.
Hiding Place: Information Desk
How to Conquer: Always carry a spare everything.
  








 
10. The Walker
This person seems to love attention. They will often be late to an exam and will almost always leave early. They can be seen leaving their revision dramatically to address things of higher powers.
Hiding Place: They don’t hide
How to Conquer: Leave them be.